I just realized...

This past semester has been, in some ways, difficult and arrogant. Allowing this semester to stick it's foot out along the aisle that is my future meant that I succumbed to an ego that should have been barely noticed. I realized that I stumbled a lot this past semester. Getting back on my feet and orienting myself was a challenge I expected to overcome easily. In a hurry to end the semester, I quickly got on my feet and nonchalantly dusted off my shoulders. I felt like I did find my bearings, only to find out that in my haphazard ascent, I left something behind. This was something I never thought I had (only because I never bothered to see it in me in the first place). I claim to be a scatterbrain because I realize that I don't make the effort to be coherent. I say I am lucid. Turns out I'm looking through a glass full of water (not half empty nor half full). Vision is distorted when looking through water. What's worse is that I've got only one hand left to go about my daily routine of (in)sanity; the other hand's being used to hold the glass up. This ability of being coherent with thoughts, words (both when I speak and write), and actions has been knocked out of me. Now I find myself to be messy and TOO scatterbrained despite my efforts to peek out from the peripherals of the glass full of water. Left side. Right side. Like an inebriate. Scratching off the "do laps everyday" part of my checklist and replacing it with "find coherency". Yeah, the OC in me is being a real ass.